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Our 5-Year-Old Selves

The greatest thing we can do at any age, is to become more of who we truly are.

I have this theory that, at some point in your life, probably at a very young age, something happened or someone said something to you, and you decided to be a certain way. You adopted a characteristic that you have since melded into your identity.

Most of us operate largely from a pre-programmed set of “rules” that we adopted along the road of life, usually in early childhood. At some point in our early years, before the critical thinking skills have been fully forged, we tend to “buy” whatever is said to us. Much of what we see, hear, and experience around this time becomes internalized. We form ideas about who we are (both “positive” and “negative”) and how our life will be based on these external inputs. (You’re too fat. You’re so pretty. You aren’t good at math/science/writing/fill-in-the-blank. You are so good at math/science/writing/fill-in-the-blank.)

As a child, we accepted these ideas; we gave our consent, such as it were.

Now you are an adult. In every moment you get to choose who you are going to be. Under normal circumstances, you get to decide who you are in this moment, and who you will be in the next moment based on the choice you make now. The illusion - the thing that may cause us trouble - is that we think we are making conscious choices.

These judgements tend to influence everything we do. It’s as if we have our 5-year-old selves running our lives! When a woman enters college, is she choosing to study math because she loves math, or because a teacher told her early on that she is so good at math? Maybe a little of both.

Question to consider:

Where in your life have you given consent to someone else’s version of who you are or ought to be?

Interested in exploring this further? Contact Coach Eileen for an initial consultation. Your life will change.